The Real Gun Guys

Change We Can Believe In!

This is freaking hilarious! To bad they don’t have Obama too.

(h/t) 45-Caliber Justice

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Gangsta’

Found here and modified by me with The Gimp. This reminds me of the HomeBoy Sights which I posted about a while back.

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Patriot Power & Gas

Announcing the formation of Patriot Power & Gas
Press release follows:

“In light of the current political climate in the United States, it has come to our attention that a significant, and currently untapped, source of alternative energy has been hiding under our noses and feet.

It was always our feeling that the current state of our nation was far afield from what the founding fathers intended, but now we have proof. While visiting the graves of our founding fathers a strange phenomena was observed. At first only perceptible as an odd humming/rumbling sound, upon closer inspection it was discovered the the Earthly remains in each grave were literally rolling over and over. In addition, when separated from their compatriots, each piece of bone continued to spin on it’s own.

Our proposal is this. We will attach a series of strong neodymium magnets to the vessels containing the remains and wire coils around either side. This will form a generator which will be hooked up to the power grid and supply an almost unlimited amount of power. Why, The remains of Thomas Jefferson and Benjamin Franklin alone could power the entire eastern seaboard!

Think of the possibilities! Not only could we have a source of clean, cheap power, we could also be free from our dependence on foreign oil. Small fragments of even the lesser luminaries could be used to power trains, buses, cars and more!

The only potential problem would be if we returned to the principles upon which this country was founded.

But we don’t foresee this ever happening.

Another source of energy we have discovered is in of all places, Hollywood. It has often been said that celebrities such as Michael Moore and Rosie O’Donnell are pompous gas bags, but who knew it was actually true? If we could gather up the two of them and their like minded brethren and tap this previously untapped resource, we could supply the entire country with natural gas for mere pennies per BTU. Simply amazing!

It has also come to our attention that is now possible to turn pig waste into oil. Our scientists theorize that this is actually the source of todays oil reserves instead of decayed plants and animals as previously thought. If we could harness our domestic pig waste and turn it into oil, the remaining market for the thick, black stuff, could be satisfied. The extracted oil could be further refined into a variety of lubricants ranging from household and automotive to a very high grade gun oil, and of course fuel. There is always the possibility of competition from middle eastern pig waste oil production, but our scientists tend to discount it’s having much of an impact once we are completely self sufficient.

We here at PPG are working diligently for a greater tomorrow and, much like our founding fathers, will never rest in our mission of producing cheap, clean energy for you.

*Actually, it is possible to turn pig waste into oil.

Inspired from a conversation I had with Jeffersonian on the way up to the Bowling Pin Shoot.

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This should put my friends at ease!

Of course the questionnaire didn’t say anything about my enemies…

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Laughs from the past…

Some people, it seems, have a tenuous at best grip on reality. Consider this which was mistaken for a real product by some of the more fever brained a while back. I wonder if I can get Carolyn “barrel shroud” McCarthy to ban these?

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I thought this was funny!

I don’t know who wrote it originally as it came to me unattributed, but here it is. Enjoy!

——-

The Night before Christmas (as it should be……..)

‘Twas the night before Christmas,
cold, dark and foreboding,
I sat at the work bench,
quite busy reloading.

The empties from autumn were polished so clear
for primers and powder and bullets from Speer
and Hornady´s soft-points, and Nosler´s Partitions
(my bench Ain’t no place for brand
name omissions!).

All sat in their boxes, right next to the
press with dies from Pacific, and RCBS,
when all of a sudden there came such a jolt,
I grabbed for my Benelli and whipped out my Colt.

As I spilled Hodgdon’s powder all over the shelf,
I scrambled for cover, just to protect myself.

From up on the rooftop, came hoofbeats and snorting
like the noise out of L’il Rock from Clinton’s cavorting!

I eased off the safety to press-check my
auto with 230-talons I’ll knock ‘em all blotto.

Were these rogue federal agents sent by Schumer and Reno ?
Or a staggering Ted Kennedy, in bad need of vino?

My question was answered with a knock, and some sneezing,
“It’s Santa, you moron, lemme in there, I’m freezing!”

I flipped off the dead-bolt and threw the door wide
to find St. Nick a shivering, Rudolph by his side.
He eyeballed my A.K. with a nod of approval
“You’re all set,” he said, “for dirtball removal.”

“But this is no raid, we’re not here to harm you
nor persecute, prosecute, nor even disarm you.”
“Instead,” said dear Santa, “I needed to borrow
your .357 ’till day after tomorrow.”

“It’s okay,” he assured me, with a hint of frustration,
“I’m enrolled in the National Rifle Association.”

He showed me his card, ’twas a Life Member rating,
“I’ve had this since me and the missus were dating!”

“And you see, Dave, ol’ buddy, I’ve gotten real nervous
since Feinstein was elected with a promise to serve us.

So henceforth as I’m out there, my presents a stackin’,
I want to assure you, I’m legally packin”,
and my gift for you this year should give you a hoot
I’ve told the Supreme Court to give Brady the boot!

Now, Rudy and I must be on our way,”
he said as he climbed back in his sleigh.
With the reins in his hand and my Colt in his pocket,
he jingled the sleighbells and was off like a rocket.

With a pair of speedloaders and ammo to spare,
I knew he’d be safe, he was loaded for bear!

As he faded from view, I could still hear him calling
“From D.C., where ‘P.C.’ is already falling.
To bad guys in L.A. , Detroit and Atlanta ,
“I’m licensed to carry, don’t go messin’ with Santa!”

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Because everyone else is doing it…

And no, I wouldn’t jump off a cliff just because everyone else was doing it either. LOL

Since I am actually from the west I find this vaguely reassuring. I guess I really do belong!

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Alrighty…

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The Journalist’s Guide to Gun Violence Coverage

Guns are a sad fact of life in American culture and are a major topic in modern journalism. A good Journalist has a duty to get involved and make a difference in this important societal debate. By following certain guidelines, the concerned Journalist can be assured of having the maximum impact on this shameful problem.

The first principle to remember is that subtle use of terminology can covertly influence the reader. Adjectives should be chosen for maximum anti-gun effect. When describing a gun, attach terms like “automatic,” “semi-automatic,” “large caliber,” “deadly,” “high powered,” or “powerful”. Almost any gun can be described by one or more of these terms. More than two guns should be called an “arsenal”.

Try to include the term “assault weapon” if at all possible. This can be combined with any of the terms above for best results. Nobody actually knows what an assault weapon is, so you cannot be criticized for this usage. Your local anti-gun organization can provide you with a list of the latest buzz words like “junk guns,” “Saturday Night Specials,” and “the criminal’s weapon of choice”.

Don’t worry about getting technical details right. Many a reporter has accidentally written about semi-automatic revolvers or committed other minor errors. Since most people know little about guns, this is not a problem. Only the gun nuts will complain and they don’t count. The emotional content of your article is much more important than the factual details, since people are more easily influenced through their emotions than through logic.

Broadcast Journalists should have a file tape showing a machine gun firing on full automatic. Run this video while describing “automatic” weapons used in a crime or confiscated by police. At the least, a large graphic of a handgun should be displayed behind the on-air personality when reading any crime story.

Do not waste words describing criminals who use guns to commit crimes. Instead of calling them burglar, rapist, murderer, or repeat offender, simply use the term “gunman”. This helps the public associate all forms of crime and violence with the possession of guns.

Whenever drug dealers are arrested, guns are usually confiscated by the police. Mention the type and number of guns more prominently than the type and quantity of drugs. Include the number of rounds of ammunition seized, since the number will seem large to those who know little about guns. Obviously, the drug dealers who had the guns should now be called “gunmen”.

Political discussions on gun control legislation usually involve pro-gun organizations. Always refer to these organizations as “the gun lobby”. If space permits, mention how much money the gun lobby has spent to influence political campaigns and describe their legislative lobbying efforts as “arm twisting” or “threats”.

Gun owners must never be seen in a positive light. Do not mention that these misguided individuals may actually be well educated, or have respectable jobs and healthy families. They should be called “gun nuts” if possible or simply gun owners at best. Mention details about their clothing, especially if they are wearing hunting clothes or hats. Mention the simplistic slogans on their bumper stickers to show that their intelligence level is low. Many gun owners drive pickup trucks, hunt and live in rural areas. Use these details to help portray them as ignorant rednecks. Don’t use the word “hunt”. Always say that they “kill” animals.

Don’t be afraid to interview these people, they are harmless even though we don’t portray them that way. Try to solicit comments that can be taken out of context to show them in the worst possible light.

Never question the effectiveness of gun control laws or proposals. Guns are evil and kill people. Removing guns from society can only be good. Nobody really uses guns for legitimate self-defense, especially women or children. Any stories about armed self-defense must be minimized or suppressed.

Be careful about criticizing the police for responding slowly to 911 calls for help. It is best if the public feels like the police can be relied upon to protect them at all times. If people are buying guns to protect their families, you are not doing your job.

Emphasize stories where people kill family members and/or themselves with guns. It is important to make the public feel like they could lose control and start killing at any moment if they have a gun in the house. Any story where a child misuses a gun is front page material.

View every shooting as an event to be exploited. Always include emotional quotes from the victim’s family if possible. If they are not available, the perpetrator’s family will do nicely. The quote must blame the tragedy on the availability of guns. Photos or video of grieving family members are worth a thousand facts. Most people will accept the assertion that guns cause crime. It is much easier than believing that some people deliberately choose to harm others.

Your story should include terms like “tragic” or “preventable” and mention the current toll of gun violence in your city or state. Good reporters always know exactly how many gun deaths have occurred in their area since the first of the year. List two or three previous incidents of gun violence to give the impression of a continuing crime wave.

Little space should be devoted to shootings where criminals kill each other. Although these deaths greatly inflate the annual gun violence numbers, they distract from the basic mission of urging law abiding citizens to give up their guns. Do not dig too deeply into the reasons behind shootings. The fact that a gun was involved is the major point, unless someone under 18 is affected, in which case the child angle is now of equal importance.

Any article about gun violence should include quotes from anti-gun organizations or politicians. One quote should say that we must do something “for the children”. Anti-gun spokespersons should be called “activists” or “advocates”. If your employer wishes to appear unbiased, you can include one token quote from a gun lobby group to show that you are being fair. The anti-gun statements should be accepted as fact. The gun lobby statement can be denigrated by including text like, “according to gun lobbyist Jones.”

Fortunately, statements from anti-gun organizations come in short sound bites that are perfect for generating an emotional response in the reader or viewer. Gun lobby statements usually contain boring facts that are easy to ignore.

Feel secure in your advocacy journalism. The vast majority of your fellow Journalists support your activism. The nation will be a better place when only the police and military have guns. Remember that you are doing it for the children so the end justifies the means.

Eventually, the government will have a monopoly on power. Don’t worry about the right to freedom of the press, just contact me then for more helpful hints.

Professor Michael Brown
School of Journalism, Brady Chair
Vancouver College of Liberal Arts

Political Satire, copyright 1999, Michael Brown. May be reproduced freely in its full and complete form. The author may be contacted at mb@e-z.net

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The Top Ten Manliest Firearms

I just found a link to a list of the Top Ten Manliest Firearms. Though it looks like I’m lacking in the manly firearm department (I have 3 out of the 10), it’s still a good list. Here’s what the author says about Ronnie Barrett:

“After securing military contracts for anti-materiel sniping (Generators, vehicles, radars, etc), and facing the wrath of Sarah Brady and her Gun-Grabbing Sideshow (which wrath he snickered at, it having all the intimidation of an angry kitten and Ronnie, as we noted, being a Viking), he gave the ultimate middle finger gesture and redesigned the weapon into 25 mm, or TWICE as big. This is a man so cool even his sperm smoke unfiltered Camels.”

LMAO! Good stuff! Go here to check out the complete list!

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